Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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