Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
