I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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