Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
