just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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