; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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