I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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