Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize