Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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