So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize