I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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