That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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