This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
