You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize