OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
