You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
