We're facebook friends in real life
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
