went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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