Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
