Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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