alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
