He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
