i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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