I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
