I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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