Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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