What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
