butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
