check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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