I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i came on her dog
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
