Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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