is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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