Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
