why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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