Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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