their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
