Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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