she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
