Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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