Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
