You work out of a Hotel?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
