I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My bed smells like the plague
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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