my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I understand Curling. That high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need to calm my uterus...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
