Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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