OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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