their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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