walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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