K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
