whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
