Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do herpes really smell.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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