so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
