her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
