hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
