My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
