I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
