I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
