i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize