Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize