so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
