Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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