how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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