Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
