Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
