So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
