i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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