she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
