we have officially lost it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
