Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize