Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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