whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
