I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We're too hungover to prance.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
