i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
