He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
