I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Randomize
