My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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