Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
