A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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