u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
