Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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